A phrase we've said and heard countless times before. Lately I have heard the response, “I don’t care” repeatedly. Each time, I’m invited to become a bit “miffed” at the person who is saying it. I think, why don’t you care? But I read online earlier, that when I attempt to take nothing personal, I will be in a better place. So, I didn’t RSVP to the invitation to be “miffed”. SN: miffed means irritated or upset. So, I started thinking about why the “I don’t care” answer and attitude. In my opinion, there are some common intentions or attitudes related to the response of “I don’t care.”
I don’t care because I’m impartial and indifferent. I’m willing to accept whatever because it doesn’t matter to me. I have no vested interest in the situation or circumstance, so whatever happens is irrelevant. This attitude carries a detached motive of nothing vested and nothing gained, NEXT, I’m over it. This breeds a life of aloofness.
I don’t care because I have given up hope. The hope I once had has disappointed me and leaves me feeling defeated, maybe forgotten or rejected. This carries a heavy negative connotation of defeat and depression. And can affect one’s well-being. Maybe it’s rooted in fear, fear of being disappointed again and so the person can’t and won’t take the gamble to find out. So instead, they abandon their life to an attitude of whatever in a defeated and a victim.
I don’t care because I trust God. In every situation and circumstance, this person has disciplined themselves to surrender and submit to the Lord because He is sovereign, and they know that He wants what is best for them. So, they can say I don’t care with full assurance that whatever God desires it will happen and they willingly are accepting and ok with that. In this situation, I don’t care means I am living in a place of surrender. My vested interest is in God and God alone. Amen, this is a peaceful way to live.
I don’t care because I’m too lazy to decide. LOL, this could be my motive for my I don’t care. However, due to our humanness, when we answer from the comfort place of laziness, it’s short lived and it turns out that we really do care. That’s proven from our complaining about what happened after we were too lazy to give input or share our desires. This attitude leaves one with regrets and should have’s.
About number 4: I’m discovering that when I don’t offer my opinion or preference, it could be that I’m just being lazy or tired, but it could also be that I don’t value myself enough to think that my opinion or input matters. Or it could be a little bit of both. Nevertheless, I do matter and so do you, and so does our input and opinions. Can I remind you to be confident and fully convinced that you matter. God has his signature on you and that’s why you matter. Psalm 139 in the Bible is my go-to when I’m feeling anything less than lovely about myself.
Psalm 139 (NLT)
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night--
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
When I asked the person why they didn’t care, they responded, “I wanted to know you cared when I didn’t.” WOW, I’ve added a 5.
I don’t care are words from a weary soul that needs to know you care about them. So, tell them that you care about them. Reaffirm them that they matter and that you’re right there with them in the “I don’t care” season they are in. Be a friend. Be kind. Be reliable. Be a listening ear. Be the helper. Be the one who cares.
"I care about you."